Gun Control. We need a system.

With the recent shooting in California, in the wake of the events that took place in France, which was in the wake of another shooting in Oregon, not to mention all the ones in between and before, The internet is once again up in arms about Gun Control in America.

Side note: Yes I know that France is in Europe, but it still gets Americans talking about gun control.

Side Side Note: My sympathies to all those families that these incidents have affected.

I get frustrated every time this happens, not for the obvious tragic reasons, and not for the selfish reason of seeing the internet once again decorated with second amendment quotes and “These other countries are doing it” arguments.

No I get frustrated because it follows a pointless pattern each time and no one seems to be learning from it.

Here is the pattern so everyone can see it.

  1. Shooting happens
  2. Everyone grieves briefly for the tragedy.
  3. Some internet Bunghole says “SEE GUNS ARE BAD!!!”
  4. Some other internet Bunghole says “NO GUNS ARE GOOD!!!”
  5. Everyone starts Yelling their opinion that falls on one side or another.
  6. People get tired of arguing and interest and awareness peters out and nothing gets done.
  7. Start from Step 1

This happens over and over and over and over….

here is the problem. Imagine a bunch of school kids all bunched together in a circle and tied up with one big rope going around them. That rope represents our country, The kids represent the people in that country. The kids have all been told that they have the freedom to do whatever, but they have to stick together as a whole, which means if the group wants to go somewhere, they have to work together.

In a situation like this, it’s pretty obvious what will happen. everyone in the group will try and go their own way for a second which will yield no progress. Then some of the kids will group up and force the direction of the whole group their way with sheer power in numbers. eventually those groups will team up with other groups to have more power. There is always one kid who notices that Numbers are the key to moving the whole group so they start speaking louder to rally the other groups to their aid. Let’s call this person Jane. Jane speaks out and says to the whole group of kids “hey we’re all moving this way, If you move this way too, we’ll get somewhere” and suddenly the whole group starts moving in a single direction.

After that goal is accomplished, eventually a need will arise that affects the whole group. In this Example, little Johnny needs to go to the restroom. he voices his need, but his strength alone can’t move the group. so his friends speak decide to help him and now Johnny has a group. However, even Johnny’s friends are not able to budge the group by themselves. This is because the other groups have a mindset of “isn’t my problem” and “why should I care, it doesn’t affect me.”

word of this problem begins to spread throughout the whole group. Eventually it even reaches back to Jane. She hears about little Johnny’s problem but doesn’t see the need to do anything about it, however while she discusses it with her friends, someone mentions “well, what if it was you who had to use the restroom? Eventually, we will all need to at some point.” Jane figures this is a good point, but has no solution, her friends can’t think of one either, but another group suggests that the whole group should move toward the restroom for easy access. Jane’s friends think this is a good idea and the other kids that have heard the rumors like it as well. Jane decides to take action! She yells out that the group is headed for the restrooms and they all set off on a mission to save poor johnny, and by extension, the whole group.

This is all and good. but what if the problem is a little more individualized problem. Let’s say a Teacher comes by, Mr. Wesson we’ll call him, and offers each of the kids the challenge of responsibility. He offers each of the children an egg. The benefit of the egg is that you can toss it up and down to provide entertainment, or protect yourself by throwing it at someone and if you keep it throughout the lesson, you get extra credit for the responsibility. The one rule is, if the egg breaks and it gets on you or anyone else, those people have to leave the group forever. You will receive a new egg if you survive the old one breaking. You can also choose to not have an egg so there’s no chance of you accidentally eliminating yourself from the group, or you can take the risk and responsibility and feel awesome because you are one of the egg carriers.

what happens is that some kids take the eggs and some don’t. The ones that took the eggs are for the most part responsible and mature about them. However there are a small percentage that do break eggs. Some do it accidentally whether by holding it wrong or by playing with it too much. Those kids are eliminated along with some of their friends who happen to in range of the egg splatter. other kids, mean kids, use theirs to throw at other kids usually taking out several from the splatter. then other kids take the responsibility of using their eggs to take out the mean kids, being careful not to get splatter on innocent kids (not always successfully but they try hard).

Now a large number of people’s friends are gone and the remaining population is upset and mourns their loss. It is decided in everyone’s minds that something needs to be done. so that no one else is lost. however, the only thing that seems to appease the Eggless group is to take away all of the eggs. the Egg holders don’t like this idea. It takes away their entertainment, protection, and extra credit. An argument breaks out with one group yelling “Eggs are bad!” the other group yelling “Eggs are Good!” The group is still split about 50/50.

Throughout the argument, eyes all start to focus on Jane. “She’s our leader, She’ll know what to do!!!” but Jane doesn’t know what to do. She wants to solve the problem, but either choice she makes will end in disaster, either losing her popularity or even getting hit with an egg. She doesn’t want the chance of that, even though she has a small secret group of egg holders protecting her at all times. Her friends are no help because they are split down the middle as well, whenever she tries to go with one side the other blocks her from making the change happen.

Sound Familiar? What’s the Solution?

Little Johnny, as it turns out, can help. He carries an egg himself, but understands the point of view of his eggless friends. While he can’t outright solve the problem, he can help the situation. He remembers things he’s been taught before, like “Stop, Drop, and roll”, “Duck, and Cover” and “Say no to drugs” and feels like there should be something for this situation as well.

Little Johnny proposes the following: Everyone is allowed to have an egg. But the egg must be kept in a little box. If the egg is ever seen by anyone they should say “I see an egg!” so that everyone pays attention to the one holding the egg. If the egg is ever out of a box and seen then they should yell “Danger, Egg! Danger, Egg!!!” at which point anyone with an egg should take theirs out of the box and be ready to defend themselves and others.

In order to keep the Egg holders happy, they will be able to take the eggs out of the box in the privacy of their own homes or in designated Egg playing zones.

Word of Johnny’s idea spreads through the group and makes it to Jane. She loves the idea and puts it into play immediately. She informs everyone of the “Johnny Law” and every egg holder is given a box. people are MUCH Safer and Eggs still get to be held by the egg holders.

Hey do you get the message?

The gun argument is not going to budge, and the president can’t do anything about it without the support of the rest of the government and wouldn’t want to anyway cause it could jeopardize his life and career.

Instead, why don’t we come up with a system.

I’m not a catch phrase writer so I haven’t come up with a good catch phrase to drive this thing home with, but I think about it like “Stop, Drop, and roll”, “Duck, and Cover” and “Say no to drugs”. We need to train our citizens on what to do when they are around guns to make everybody safer.

First of all, every gun owner should know that AS a gun owner, you will have a responsibility for the ones around you. You always have, but now we are really gonna drill that in your mind. You could be called upon at any moment to defend yourself and others, just by owning a gun.

When out in the public, your gun should be concealed. either in a cloth case or in a holster under your clothes. Now, if you are anywhere out in public and see a person’s gun, it will be your duty to say out loud “I see a weapon!” and indicate where by looking and pointing. As the one with the gun, it will be your duty to re-conceal the weapon. (Accidents happen, shirts roll up, jackets flap open, whatever). If you see that person’s gun out of it’s holster or case, You should then begin to yell out “Danger Gun DANGER Gun Danger Gun!” As a nearby gun carrier, you now have a permission and duty to draw your weapon and point at the danger gun. As the one WITH the danger gun, you have two choices, either put your weapon away, or face the wrath of the other gun holders around you.

In fact, the mere act of creating a danger gun situation should be punished. first by a warning, and eventually leading to jail time and confiscation of weapons.

We need to drill these steps into the minds of Americans and make this a mandatory procedure to follow. It won’t take guns away from American’s, It won’t completely eliminate the danger, BUT it will make things much safer and maybe reduce the number of incidents like Columbine, Sandy Hook, and Roseburg Oregon.

One More Review!

  1. Conceal your Weapons
  2. If you see it, say it “I SEE A WEAPON!”
  3. Not in it’s Holster? Yell it! “DANGER GUN! DANGER GUN! DANGER GUN!

If you can make it catchier, PLEASE DO!!

Thank you for your time!

Sony! Help us defeat the Playstation Moneygrubbers!!!

I am very disappointed in the world lately. More specifically the United States. More specifically the Moneygrubbing Bastards that decided to deny me an awesome Playstation!… Let me explain.

As you may or may not be aware, I am a Playstation Gamer. I’m not necessarily a fanboy (though I’m not sure if I am allowed to be the one who gives or takes that label). I just prefer the Playstation to all other forms of gaming (yes I have tried the others). That being said, I have owned a Playstation through every generation. PS, PS2, PS3 and I still have a working Original Playstation! I have never had to repair it and I still power it up from time to time to play some of the classics.

20th Anniversary Original Grey Playstation 4

Look how Freakin Cool that is!

As you may or may not also be aware, recently Sony decided to do something really cool for their 20th Anniversary and release an Original Grey Playstation 4. Not only was it the same color as the Original Playstation, but it was serial Numbered with an aluminum badge. The Logos were even in full color! This thing was awesome and I totally wanted one!

The only thing that had been stopping me from buying a Playstation 4 so far (and still is) is that there aren’t that many games for the system that I really want. Currently I am main lining Battlefield 4 for Playstation 3, and I could be playing it on a Playstation 4, but I don’t feel like throwing down $560 bucks for a game that I basically already own. I am waiting for Mighty No. 9, but I know how that game is going to be already. I think No Man’s Sky looks interesting and cool, but it’s not out yet. The bottom line is that I just am not ready for a Playstation 4.

Shut up and take my money memeHowever, when I saw that 20th Anniversary Edition Original Grey Playstation 4 I changed my tune really quick! I said to myself “If I’m going to buy a PS4 early, that’s going to be the one I own!!!” I was so very ready to drop $500 on the table for this thing! I even went to and bookmarked the Playstation Page. I was ready to pounce when it came available!

Then the day came, and no PS4. I refreshed as often as I could, looking for the new entry in the Sony store, but sadly that never came. I then did a Google search and found an article stating that the 20th Anniversary edition had gone on sale and was sold out already. It also went on to say that they were already showing up on Ebay for twice the price and Higher!

*DEEP BREATH*……[Expletive Deleted]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes me feel cheated! One, the Playstation never showed on the store as was promised. Two, A long time loyal customer loses out on an awesome piece of Playstation history, because of a bunch of Moneygrubbing turds who just want to turn a profit. It’s unfair and stupid!

I hope you are reading this Sony! A long time fan of your products feels cheated! I want to know if you are going to try and make this right. I’m not saying I want you to send me a PS4 and I’m not saying you should buy up the ones on eBay and resell them to people like me. I am saying that you should try something to get a little justice for the fans that were cheated out of a cool product! If it were me, and I saw this atrocity taking place, i would start selling un-numbered Original Grey Playstation 4s and make the market for the numbered ones Tank! It would help fix the problem and you could still defend your decision to all those complainers on eBay that you aren’t numbering these ones!

Sony PS4 Greatness Awaits Display

I’m Calling you out Sony! Defend your honor to one of your fans!

I’m just saying that something needs to be done! Someone needs to stand up for the loyal fans, and who better than the ones they are fans of. Sony, I’m devastated that I didn’t get one of your awesome Playstation 4s, and I am even more devastated for the reasons that it happened. Please make this right, however possible. I know I’m not the only one out there! Call to Arms! Who feels cheated that they didn’t get a 20th Anniversary Original Grey PS4!!! Let your voice be heard!!! #DownWithPS20Moneygrubbers! Hells Yeah! Come on Sony! Help us out here! Aren’t you guys the ones who are always saying “Greatness Awaits”?

ICANN Needs to Stop Laying Down Freedoms and Start Laying Down the Law

Matrix Error

Oh No The Internet is Broken!!!

I never thought I would ever even think these words:

Something in America is TOO Free!

I hate to say it, but it’s true. That “something” is the Internet. The world wide web is a place of a lot of chaos. The anonymity breeds negative emotions and fuels our urges to be bad without any sense of consequence. In less than five minutes, you can create a completely anonymous profile on a random website and commit typographical hate-crimes without any worry that a badge will show up at your door. The worst part, is that no one is trying to do anything about it. The latest example of this is coming from ICANN.

The link above basically says that ICANN, in all of it’s brilliance, decided to open up top-level domain names so that companies can make litterally anything take the place of “.com”. Now companies will have website names like http://drink.coke and http://ilike.cheese and http://buy.menon and http://pepsi.generation . Dot com is going to become a thing of the past. Soon we will all be nostalgic about the times when we could locate the website of a company by simply thinking of the name and adding a “.com” to the end. What a wasted oportunity.Doesn’t seem so bad to you yet, huh? Well what are you going to think when somebody in the porn industry decides to make a website address called http://freeporn.4kids ? Or maybe we will get lucky and someone will create http://sexwith.children ! This idea is starting to sound stupider by the minute right?

Internet Law

Lay Down The Law!

This also has me concerned about people who have trouble using the internet to begin with. Your parents think the Internet is a confusing thing now with putting a www in front of things and all the .com’s; Now they have to reach through their already strained memory to remember that it’s not, but now it’s This is one area where creativity should not be allowed.

What should they have done?
They should have made top-level domains a way of catagorizing websites and laying a foundation for Internet Regulations. ICANN should have created a submission process to suggest new top level domain catagories and then created laws surrounding those domains. For example:
  • Yes, there should be a “.xxx” top level domain, but by law if you are considered a porn site you should be required to have that as your only domain. “.porn” “.pron” “.pr0n” “.adult” “.xrated”
  • “.com” You can only hold this as a domain name if you are selling something on your website. “.buy”
  • “.kid” Any website with this domain name should have content that has been approved child safe. “.children” “.4kids” “.family”
This would allow us to stop companies from “cybersquatting” because they would have to lease the right to use the top level domain name. Also, it would bring in extra income from enforcing fines to companies that broke the laws. Parents could rest easy that their child will not be exposed to any adult content when their filter is set to only allow “.kid” domain names. I am very surprised and disappointed that ICANN did not think of this. 

Donnie Darko Bunny

The World Ends Dec 21st 2012

I’m not looking forward to the future of the internet if this is how they are going to handle it. This decision is only going to make the lack of policing on the internet worse and probably spiral it into a circle of chaos that no one will enjoy. Maybe the world ending in 2012 is just a metaphor like on Donnie Darko. Just like he lost the love of his life, so shall we lose our precious precious internet. 

Why is it so Hard to Burn Water?

Alaskan Gas Prices at 4 and a half to 5 dollars a gallon.

Exhibit A

I am sick of living in Alaska. Enough is enough and I am finally ready to get out. Alaska may be the biggest state in the US, but it is also the biggest mess. The state is underdeveloped, the politics are all screwed up, and the prices… the prices are… well just look at the cost of Gas. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A which was taken Saturday May 21st, 20011. This is unacceptable.

For a State that has it’s very own oil pipeline, you would think that the gas prices would be pretty easy on the eyes. Instead they blind you with the sheer terror of your wallet getting raped in the billfold. Now before I end up turning this post into a denouncement of the state I was born in and have lived in most of my life, I will shift my focus to the real issue. Alaska is not the only place with this problem.

Everybody has been watching the gas prices soar to an unbelievably high cost, and the truth is that not just one thing is to blame. You can say that the government is pouring money into wars that create higher gas prices. You can say that Oil companies are silencing the technologies that could lead us to better alternative fueled cars and trucks. You can even say that the shortage of fossil fuels is starting to jack up fuel prices. All of these are right and more. However, we shouldn’t be focusing on the problem. We should be focusing on the solution. Although, we do need a specific problem to solve.

In this post, I chose the problem “How to make a Hydro Electric or other Alternative Fueled Car”. I chose to focus mainly on H2O cars because they seem the most appealing as the next step for fuel dependent cars. I also know that we have the technology to do this. Here, I will some of my favorite sources:

A Water Hose

Exhibit B

Now I, as much as any of you, would like to see these Water Engines be put in to mass production in automobiles right away. I guess there are some things holding us up. What those are have ranged from “That’s a stupid reason to keep us waiting!” to “Huh, that does pose a huge problem.” My favorite “stupid reason” is that we don’t have enough water fill up stations across the world. This is just a delay, that was created when gas stations realized that they wouldn’t have any way to make money after their fuel stations were gone. Are we really going to delay one of the greatest technological breakthroughs in the the 21st century because of the price of some plumbing and the device pictured in Exhibit B? If you want to charge us for water fuel than charge us for Purified and distilled water. Just pipe in the tap water for free. 

The Best reason for halting the production of these earth saving machines is that the technology hasn’t been perfected enough to make it viable for cars to run on water. Well, that is a big problem, but I have a solution. Stop focusing on cars long enough to start selling Furnaces for houses, generators, Torches, Barbecues, and other things that are portable and that only require heat. I gurantee that with the experience of building those devices and the money funding the research, Cars and Trucks will be running on water in no time. 

Water igniting as it is poured into a glass


I hope that someday soon, we can get out of this prison of gasoline and start living life as a clean technological race of creatures that will not destroy the planet they call home. Now if you will excuse me, all this talk about water has made me thirsty. I think I will go have a glass of fuel.

Saving the Earth One Test Page at a Time

As a computer technician I am called to many problems surrounding PCs and their peripherals. On many occasions I come into conflict with a printer. When ever I deal with one of these horrible contraptions, I am always faced with an ethical dilemma. How many test pages can I print before I should start feeling guilty.

The Lorax Book Covor

I Speak for the trees.

It never fails. Every time I get a phone call about a printer problem I end up walking away with at least one page of completely useless information that just gets thrown away or recycled. The printer test page is a necessary evil which makes me feel like I have the carbon footprint of a coal-burning factory. It has always been very convenient too that every page has network information on it to keep me from giving it to the local library for scrap paper. Something needs to be done to stop this needless waste of perfectly good paper and it needs to be done by the operating system and printer companies!

The only suggestion that I have been able to come up with, involves changing the signal that is sent to the printer when the test page is requested. Upon arriving at the printer, the signal would be recognized and would trigger an audible tone for every page supposed to be printed. A display might work as well, but printers are sometimes located in separate rooms from the computers we are sitting at. You could also send the pages through the printer with the ink being disabled. I wouldn’t mind if I had to load the blank pages back into the printer. Just as long as I don’t have to throw them away.

Recycle Paper Symbol

Fix it!

That is just one suggestion, but maybe there is a better way. All I know is, we don’t want to end up with our forests being reduced to a single stump with the word “Unless” carved in it because of something this stupid.

Fixing the Education of America

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Picture from

I am not a Teacher. I am not a PHD in anything. I am not a professor and I am certainly not Valedictorian. I am, however, a student of my past. I think a lot about what I have done in order to fully understand the reasons I did them. My past experience with education systems has lead me to an amazing truth that must be told to the world.

We are teaching our kids the wrong way.

You have heard it all before. You have heard how the school systems are shutting down health classes to give kids more time in the classes that only work their brains. You have heard how the schools have been have a hard time with their funding because the kids can’t pass the tests. There is a reason all of this is happening. There is a reason that kids have a bad attitude in public school. There is a reason why the majority doesn’t pass the tests and why we are now offering High School Equivalencies instead of Diplomas. The answer lies within the kids attitudes.

I remember back in my days of middle school. I would go through school just like the rest of the kids. Answering questions, talking in groups, making the most of my time their. The problem came when math class rolled around. Do not get the assumption that I am going to tell you that I was horrible at math until a teacher showed me a teaching method that turned my life around. No, I was very good at math. Not that you could tell though, my grades always began to plummet after the middle of the semester. I would stop bringing my homework in get zeros and have to make up the grades later. My teacher was always baffled by this. Why? because no matter how low my daily grades got, my test scores were always immaculate.

This always happened in all of my classes all throughout high school. My daily grades would suffer and yet all my tests had good scores. In fact I made it to pre-calculus until I opened up the chapter on “imaginary numbers” and said “That’s enough for me!” After that, I only ever did enough to pass.

Why did I do things that way? Was I not absorbing the information? If that were true wouldn’t my test scores have been low? I pondered this for a long time after graduation. I finally figured out what it was. It was staring me right in the face the entire time. The answer: I was Bored!

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That’s right, I was bored! I was bored because we would spend an hour and a half on a single topic (I know, my school system has wierd schedules), and then the teacher would say “Well that’s enough of that topic for today! Your homework today is the 50 problems on page Twenty!” I would, of course, not do the work because life got in the way. You know, video games, chores, TV, going outside, hanging with friends. That was the kind of life that got in the way. I would say to myself “We went over it in class. I know how the thing works. I don’t need to do 50 problems more. It’s boring and won’t help me understand it more than I already do!” The next morning, I would march into class with no homework and get a zero for the day. I would also have to face the embarrassment of not handing in my homework in front of my fellow students.

I think this boredom problem affects all students and we are approaching the method of teaching wrong. There should be no reason that a kid should be sent home to do a huge number of problems from a text book. THAT IS WHAT SCHOOL IS FOR! The learning needs to be done in a classroom and it needs to be done differently to save time. Maybe that way we can pass the tests and cram some physical education in there too!

What is the solution? I do not have all the answers, but I can put us a step in the right direction. Imagine a class full of kids. The teacher is standing at the front of the class and the lesson is on the board. Today’s lesson: Multiplication. The teacher should spend the first few minutes of the class explaining what it is and how to do it and even giving some helpful tips (like holding up your fingers when multiplying by nines). After s/he is done with the lesson, The students should be asked to create and solve at least ten of their own problems. Then the students will be asked one by one to come up to the board to make an example question and answer it in front of the class. During this time the teacher can check his work on the paper handed in. An assesment will be made if the student understands the subject. If he doesn’t the teacher will help him. If he does, he will help any student’s after him who don’t understand along with the teacher. By the end, everyone should know the subject so well that they can answer any problems that come at them no problem and now we can move on to the next lesson.

This method of teaching will also help develop social skills. Kids will be braver about talking in front of a crowd. They will learn to work together to understand the problems and no one will be left in the back of the class because everyone will have their time at the front. They will also have more time at home for whatever they need because no homework should be neccesary.

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The only other solution I have is to stop wasting time teaching our kids things that they don’t really need to learn. I spent an entire semester with the rest of my school learning the 50 states and their respective capitol’s by heart. I still know most of the Wakko’s America song by heart. I have never used that information since middle school except to prove that I knew the material to my friends. Kids need to know useful things. They need to know how to survive in the world and solve real world problems. The 50 states don’t come in handy when your tire goes flat on your car. I don’t need to know all of the presidents, just the ones that are important, maybe then I can have room for information on eating right for my health. I don’t need to know that Steinbeck was making a reference to the bible when he wrote the last scene of “Of Mice and Men”. I could, however, use the information of how to fill out those long forms at the hospital! Give our kids information they are going to use.

Even if you give kids information that is useless, try to give it in a more tempting way. I was fed the word “pi” in just about every math class I can remember. I always new it was never ending and I always new its relationship to circles, but did you know “the why of pi”? Pi is a never ending number because the only way we have been able to get it is through measurment. If you give a man a ruler and a string and a circle and tell him to find the exact number of pi and then compare his answer to the man sitting next to him, they will not have the exact same answer. Why? because measuring is not an exact science. You can’t see molecules with your naked eye, and string can stretch and the width of the line on the ruler comes into play as well. The only way we have been able to get pi to the (i don’t remember what it is now, billionth?) decimal point is because we use things like electron microscopes. If you want to get an exact number for pi and make all of our circular objects perfectly round from now on, you need to calculate it. Do not measure, calculate. You need to make an equasion. Did you also know that if you are successful in making that equasion, there are several universities that are ready to drop $1 Million dollars in your lap? How is that for incentive?

After learning all this I spent a month straight with a notebook and calculator in my hand trying desprately to come up with the answer. If I had known abou this in school I would have become an expert in geometry. I would have been obsessed with my school work. Alas, they did not tell me any of this, so here I sit. I am not rich and every circle in the world is flawed.

These are the things that need to change. If the education system is not working, then it needs to be fixed. Kids are smarter these days then they used to be. The education system needs to evolve with them or, God forbid, it will become extinct.

DVDs Should Play the Movies First and Phones should play voicemails first.

This post centers around two questions:

Why the Hell doesn’t my movie start when I put my DVD in?

Why does my phone tell me the time, date, and return number of a voicemail BEFORE I get the voicemail?

Man yelling at his cell phone.

I have done this

I see this a lot in today’s electronics. There is a huge problem that people hate about something, and a simple order change could fix the problem. Does that change ever happen? NOOOOOO!!!

Annoyance #1
Here is what happens when you put a movie in your DVD player. First you get a commercial, probably from the company that owns the movie (Universal, paramount, etc) it show clips of movies they own flipping by a couple hundred times, all set to pleasant music that is supposed to make you say “hey we should pick that up next time we are in walmart!” after that you get a movie trailer, followed by a movie trailer. Next up a movie trailer and after that, perhaps for a change of pace, a freakin movie trailer. How many do we need to see? I can see how we need them in the movie theaters, because almost no one stays past the credits. Let’s not dwell on that too much though, because we have to watch the cool anti-piracy video that the FBI worked so hard on. We get it: downloading pirated DVDs is stealing. Thank god we are through all this crap. I finished my dinner an hour ago. Oh wait. We aren’t done yet. It seems the movie has a game coming out. Oh and you might want to buy the soundtrack. You don’t want the soundtrack? Well how about the original score? ENOUGH!!! I JUST WANT THE FREAKIN MOVIE!!! We must be getting close. No. No, because you forgot one last thing. The cherry on top that turns you red with irritation. Ladies and gentleman… I give you the DVD Menu. Now you have to find the remote and press a button to start your cinematic adventure. For many of you this is impossible because you have already fallen asleep so now even your subconscious is deprived of the movie. And even if, by some miracle of nature, your pet hits the button by accident, you are separated from the menu and left with a couple of parting gifts: another anti piracy message and something saying the film has been modified for fullscreen viewing. Lets just hope that the movie doesn’t take inspiration from Speed and show Credits rolling down an elevator for what feels like half the movie.

Here is the deal. When I sit down to a movie at home, I am usually picking dinnertime as the time to embark on my moving picture adventure. I figure that I’ll multitask and not waste so much of my day sitting on the couch. I have two choices (1) I can start eating through the beginning of the dvd and watch the trailers that I do want to see (don’t get me wrong, it tells me what I have to look forward to in the future) and end up finishing my meal before the movie starts or (2) I can use the remote and skip through all the commercials (if possible. I may do a future post on the randomness of equipment later) and end up not eating my food while its piping hot and fresh. I don’t like my choices.

All of this could be solved with a simple procedure. When the DVD is inserted Play The Movie. I like the trailers, but I will watch them later. That is what the DVD Menu is for. When I put in a movie, I expect to see the movie. I don’t want to see other movies. save those trailers for the theater.  I would personally re-buy every one of my dvd’s (over time, I am not rich) if they re-released them so that the movie played first. I know the technology can do it. DO IT PLEASE!!!

Annoyance #2
Here is what happens when you check your voicemail on your cell phone. First, the nice machine asks you to put in your passcode which, if you are doing things right, the phone takes care of it for you. Next is says “to listen to your messages press 1.” Why? Why do I have to press one. The messages should just start playing at this point. Why else would I call my voicemail when it has messages? UGH! You press 1.

Now let me pause for a moment. I am the kind of person who sometimes doesn’t check his voicemail for a while and lets it fill up on occasion.  This is when the annoyances get really bad. Therefore, I will use one of those times as an example.

The voice says “Your mailbox is full. You have 10 new messages. First Message. This Message Has exceeded the maximum storage time allowed by the system. Message received at 8:08am September 3rd from (555) 555-5674” at which point the message starts playing and only then can you determine that it is a “worth your time” call.

Why does it tell me the number of who called? and why at the beginning? I usually know who left the message as soon as I hear the voice, and they usually leave a call back number anyway. In this day an age with companies and their phone systems, the callback number I get from the person is a direct line as opposed to the Company number I get from the caller ID. Put it at the end and make sure its after the date and time of the call.

Yes I want the date and time to be after the voice message as well. Why? Because it’s only after I hear the voice in the message when I ask the question “Whoa wait a minute! when did Steve call me?” Usually I know whether or not I have already gotten back to a person two seconds into the voicemail. At that point I interrupt the message to delete it. I don’t need the date and time in the beginning. Put it at the end.

I hate it when I go to check my messages real quick and I end up sitting there for fifteen minutes listening to a bunch of time wasting dribble. I just don’t understand why no one has said hey lets reverse that so that the customer likes our service better.

Before you start the wave of comments, yes I have heard of David Pogue’s “Take Back The Beep” campaign and I hope that it works. I really look up to David and I respect his opinions. I really wish I could have his job, but I am not willing to move to New York.

In conclusion. Someone just needs to put the Movies and the Voicemails first. I hope it happens soon.