DVDs Should Play the Movies First and Phones should play voicemails first.

This post centers around two questions:

Why the Hell doesn’t my movie start when I put my DVD in?

Why does my phone tell me the time, date, and return number of a voicemail BEFORE I get the voicemail?

Man yelling at his cell phone.

I have done this

I see this a lot in today’s electronics. There is a huge problem that people hate about something, and a simple order change could fix the problem. Does that change ever happen? NOOOOOO!!!

Annoyance #1
Here is what happens when you put a movie in your DVD player. First you get a commercial, probably from the company that owns the movie (Universal, paramount, etc) it show clips of movies they own flipping by a couple hundred times, all set to pleasant music that is supposed to make you say “hey we should pick that up next time we are in walmart!” after that you get a movie trailer, followed by a movie trailer. Next up a movie trailer and after that, perhaps for a change of pace, a freakin movie trailer. How many do we need to see? I can see how we need them in the movie theaters, because almost no one stays past the credits. Let’s not dwell on that too much though, because we have to watch the cool anti-piracy video that the FBI worked so hard on. We get it: downloading pirated DVDs is stealing. Thank god we are through all this crap. I finished my dinner an hour ago. Oh wait. We aren’t done yet. It seems the movie has a game coming out. Oh and you might want to buy the soundtrack. You don’t want the soundtrack? Well how about the original score? ENOUGH!!! I JUST WANT THE FREAKIN MOVIE!!! We must be getting close. No. No, because you forgot one last thing. The cherry on top that turns you red with irritation. Ladies and gentleman… I give you the DVD Menu. Now you have to find the remote and press a button to start your cinematic adventure. For many of you this is impossible because you have already fallen asleep so now even your subconscious is deprived of the movie. And even if, by some miracle of nature, your pet hits the button by accident, you are separated from the menu and left with a couple of parting gifts: another anti piracy message and something saying the film has been modified for fullscreen viewing. Lets just hope that the movie doesn’t take inspiration from Speed and show Credits rolling down an elevator for what feels like half the movie.

Here is the deal. When I sit down to a movie at home, I am usually picking dinnertime as the time to embark on my moving picture adventure. I figure that I’ll multitask and not waste so much of my day sitting on the couch. I have two choices (1) I can start eating through the beginning of the dvd and watch the trailers that I do want to see (don’t get me wrong, it tells me what I have to look forward to in the future) and end up finishing my meal before the movie starts or (2) I can use the remote and skip through all the commercials (if possible. I may do a future post on the randomness of equipment later) and end up not eating my food while its piping hot and fresh. I don’t like my choices.

All of this could be solved with a simple procedure. When the DVD is inserted Play The Movie. I like the trailers, but I will watch them later. That is what the DVD Menu is for. When I put in a movie, I expect to see the movie. I don’t want to see other movies. save those trailers for the theater.  I would personally re-buy every one of my dvd’s (over time, I am not rich) if they re-released them so that the movie played first. I know the technology can do it. DO IT PLEASE!!!

Annoyance #2
Here is what happens when you check your voicemail on your cell phone. First, the nice machine asks you to put in your passcode which, if you are doing things right, the phone takes care of it for you. Next is says “to listen to your messages press 1.” Why? Why do I have to press one. The messages should just start playing at this point. Why else would I call my voicemail when it has messages? UGH! You press 1.

Now let me pause for a moment. I am the kind of person who sometimes doesn’t check his voicemail for a while and lets it fill up on occasion.  This is when the annoyances get really bad. Therefore, I will use one of those times as an example.

The voice says “Your mailbox is full. You have 10 new messages. First Message. This Message Has exceeded the maximum storage time allowed by the system. Message received at 8:08am September 3rd from (555) 555-5674” at which point the message starts playing and only then can you determine that it is a “worth your time” call.

Why does it tell me the number of who called? and why at the beginning? I usually know who left the message as soon as I hear the voice, and they usually leave a call back number anyway. In this day an age with companies and their phone systems, the callback number I get from the person is a direct line as opposed to the Company number I get from the caller ID. Put it at the end and make sure its after the date and time of the call.

Yes I want the date and time to be after the voice message as well. Why? Because it’s only after I hear the voice in the message when I ask the question “Whoa wait a minute! when did Steve call me?” Usually I know whether or not I have already gotten back to a person two seconds into the voicemail. At that point I interrupt the message to delete it. I don’t need the date and time in the beginning. Put it at the end.

I hate it when I go to check my messages real quick and I end up sitting there for fifteen minutes listening to a bunch of time wasting dribble. I just don’t understand why no one has said hey lets reverse that so that the customer likes our service better.

Before you start the wave of comments, yes I have heard of David Pogue’s “Take Back The Beep” campaign and I hope that it works. I really look up to David and I respect his opinions. I really wish I could have his job, but I am not willing to move to New York.

In conclusion. Someone just needs to put the Movies and the Voicemails first. I hope it happens soon.